Peeker

I always peek at the end of books. This has nothing to do with a When Harry Met Sally-like cynicism, but just an uncontrollable desire to just know. Maybe I have to verify that the book actually does end and the characters don't exist. I don't know, but I always peek. I'm a peeker-- I used to sneak down stairs every Christmas Eve just to verify that the presents were, in fact, there. I had to know! What if they weren't? As if my peek-age would affect the outcome of Christmas morning, or the end of a book.
Example 1: I peeked at the end of New Moon when I was about 100 pages in. There was no doubt in my mind that Edward was coming back, but I had to verify, mostly to find out when the ridiculous vapidity of that novel would be over.
Example 2: I'm finishing the last book in a series by Megan McCafferty, which is enjoyable mostly because the main character, Jessica Darling, is the #1 literary character who is most like me- the moodiness, the caustic criticism that is kept mostly within the confines of my head, the rapt attention to popular culture. But anyway, I'm half way through the last book, and I don't really want to know if the two main characters get married, but some nagging pull at the back of my brain, rationalized by just checking to see how many more pages I have, forces me to look at the end of the book. I didn't really see anything, and I don't really know the end, but I still feel like I cheated myself out of something.
I swear... the next book I read I will not look at the end, even to see how many pages it is.

This is a pledge I will probably not keep.

Today I had the exciting opportunity to pluck the first gray hair from my head. I had no idea that it was such a delight to lean over the sink in the bathroom only to look up and notice a glaring gray strand in your hair screaming, "You may think you're only 22, but you're getting older by the second, and you're going to die alone!!!" The hair actually specified that there were three exclamation points after that sentence. There was nothing to do but call my friend who (bless him) has been graying since tenth grade, though his gray hairs look peppered and distinguished, like Anderson Cooper. Mine look like I'm growing a wart on the end of my nose and my skin is turning green.
Also, due to the fact that my life is so action-packed, I read an entire book this evening, which I suppose was slightly more thought provoking than watching another episode of House Hunters, a show which is reminiscent of a five-paragraph essay-- intro, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The book was Spanking Shakespeare by Jake Wizner, and it was hilarious in all of the truths that it tendered. It has the distinct honor of being the only book written in my "Books I Have Read" notebook that I put three stars next to. I'm not sure what those three stars mean, but it is something good, I assure you.

The Bro Book

I have been in a reading rut since Twilight. I did, however, recently finish Guyland by Michael Kimmel, which was AMAZING. Early last year I went on a feminist literature bender. I blame it, in part, on my Women Artists in Literature class that I took in my last semester at Mansfield, which was such an awesome class. We read Song of the Lark by Willa Cather and it totally changed my life, but then that semester Jessica Valenti, who founded feministing.com, came to speak, and I bought her book and read it (loved it!). Then I traded it with my BFF for Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy (also loved it!), and Guyland kind of reminded me of Female Chauvinist Pigs in reverse. Early in the book, Kimmel defines the guys he's writing about mostly as white, middle class dudes from 16 to 26, so basically every dude I know, and he writes about their coming of age.
In a lot of ways Guyland was kind of scary for a single lady of 22 to read. It is a lot to think about, and Kimmel's descriptions and stories are never too graphic, but sometimes they were just scary. His research is expansive, though. He did such a good job. The book made me angry and frightened sometimes, but it was so interesting. He makes so many excellent points, but the things I found most intriguing were his ideas about boys becoming men. He says that in a lot of cases girls know they are women because they decide it themselves, or it just doesn't mean that much anymore, that for a lot of girls being a woman is whatever she wants it to mean, but that for guys, being a man is still really important. And more and more, it is not fathers passing down manly traits and assisiting their sons in becoming men-- it's a guys' peers who usher him into manhood and teach him what it means to be a man. I had never really thought about it in so many words, but that is so true. I have never really thought of myself as a "woman." I mean, I guess I am, but it has just never occured to me to think of myself as a woman-- it's never been that important to me. I always figured that when I was an adult, then I'd be an adult, but never a woman. It sounds weird to me.
His discussion and thoughts on the anger and entitlement that these boys feel is another really fascinating aspect of the book that runs throughout it. Kimmel talks about it in just about every aspect of "Guyland." It is prevelant everywhere-- in music and video games and porn. I have to say, it is really scary to read about. I think that this is a really important time to be a feminist. There is so much left to do, and though Kimmel never calls it that, I think his writing is feminist. I liked that the book ended positively, and I like his suggestion that we just start dialogue about this stuff! No one seems to talk about it, or any talk about it just gets brushed off as too academic or girly or something. Whatever. This book is totally worth reading for everyone, and I think more people should read it so that I can talk about it with them.