The Bro Book

I have been in a reading rut since Twilight. I did, however, recently finish Guyland by Michael Kimmel, which was AMAZING. Early last year I went on a feminist literature bender. I blame it, in part, on my Women Artists in Literature class that I took in my last semester at Mansfield, which was such an awesome class. We read Song of the Lark by Willa Cather and it totally changed my life, but then that semester Jessica Valenti, who founded feministing.com, came to speak, and I bought her book and read it (loved it!). Then I traded it with my BFF for Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy (also loved it!), and Guyland kind of reminded me of Female Chauvinist Pigs in reverse. Early in the book, Kimmel defines the guys he's writing about mostly as white, middle class dudes from 16 to 26, so basically every dude I know, and he writes about their coming of age.
In a lot of ways Guyland was kind of scary for a single lady of 22 to read. It is a lot to think about, and Kimmel's descriptions and stories are never too graphic, but sometimes they were just scary. His research is expansive, though. He did such a good job. The book made me angry and frightened sometimes, but it was so interesting. He makes so many excellent points, but the things I found most intriguing were his ideas about boys becoming men. He says that in a lot of cases girls know they are women because they decide it themselves, or it just doesn't mean that much anymore, that for a lot of girls being a woman is whatever she wants it to mean, but that for guys, being a man is still really important. And more and more, it is not fathers passing down manly traits and assisiting their sons in becoming men-- it's a guys' peers who usher him into manhood and teach him what it means to be a man. I had never really thought about it in so many words, but that is so true. I have never really thought of myself as a "woman." I mean, I guess I am, but it has just never occured to me to think of myself as a woman-- it's never been that important to me. I always figured that when I was an adult, then I'd be an adult, but never a woman. It sounds weird to me.
His discussion and thoughts on the anger and entitlement that these boys feel is another really fascinating aspect of the book that runs throughout it. Kimmel talks about it in just about every aspect of "Guyland." It is prevelant everywhere-- in music and video games and porn. I have to say, it is really scary to read about. I think that this is a really important time to be a feminist. There is so much left to do, and though Kimmel never calls it that, I think his writing is feminist. I liked that the book ended positively, and I like his suggestion that we just start dialogue about this stuff! No one seems to talk about it, or any talk about it just gets brushed off as too academic or girly or something. Whatever. This book is totally worth reading for everyone, and I think more people should read it so that I can talk about it with them.